Friday. January 12. ms

SCARLET AND BLACK

Page Thral

 

Paul Roberts

Roberts Rules Of Disorder

“Toyl’dnd, toyland/wonderlul little girl and boy-
land." How many times during the recent holidays
did you hear that sweet, innocent refrain? But, have
you visited toyland recently? 1 have an eight year
old brother for whom I wished to buy a present,
so during the vacation i found myself walking
naively into toyland

“Why, hello there young college man," said a
bright, young clerk wearing a starched carnation
and a stal‘ched Smile. “May I be of some assist-
ance?"

“Well, yes,” i said rattler dumbiy, feeling quite
unsure or myself in his awesome presence. ”I’m
looking for a Christmas present {or an eight
year old."

"How nice. Now is he more interested in con-
\enl'0n€ll W ‘fal‘e ot' gilerilla Warfare?"

“No, I think baseball is his interest, you See he's
only eight years old and . .

“Don’t be silly," he barked imperiousiy. “Now
our store IS divided into conventional, guerilia,
atomic, and old fashioned warfare. Where would
you like to start?”

“But is that all you have?”

My guide stopped in midsenteiice and looked
at me with pure contempt, “Is that all we have?
I want you to know that McNamara's Department
Store has the most complete stock of toys in town.
For example, there isn’t another store in town that
has this one,” and he lovingly hired a gun from it's
rack "This is an exact duplicate of the latest atomic
warhead rifle that is being used in viet Nam by
our advisers — for self defense only, ol course.
Or, ii you don’t think your brother would like that,
take this one over herﬁ. This is the (mast, fastest,
most modern device in the field of fine, last.
modern death. Secret government reports say that
this weapon can wipe out a small village in less
than . .

By this time I wasn't hearing much. i had wan-
dered away i-rorn my ordinance oiiicer and was
busy looking for a baseball glove or something.
it was while wandering aimlessly in the blow gun
department that I spotted a little old lady Whom
I felt sure would be able to help me, “Pardon me,
little old lady," I said, "But I'm looking (or a
Christmas present for my eight year old brother
and I don't want an atomic warhead rifle or a
secret weapon.”

“Well, young college man," she said sweetly.
much as my own Grandmother might have, “I
think i can help you. What you want is one or our
latest games."

“Oh yes, yes," I said with relief. “A game." And

Rights Work. llnyone'.l
See Addresses Below

Southern summer projects for
students increase in scope and
effectiveness each year. Col-
lege Chaplain Roger Eldridge
has a list of specific projects

memories of Monopoly on the Screenednln lront
porch on a rainy day and checkers by the fireside
with Dad came flooding back to me

”Now here is the latest thing in multiple pal"
ticipant games. it can he played with two to eight
players and all the pieces are included."

“Yes, yes, that Sounds line"

”We call this one Megadeath. You see, the red
army tries to annihilate the blue army While at
the same time preserving enough of an atomic
storehouse and enough germ bombs to keep the
yellow army at boy. or course as your brother be-
comes more adept at Megadeath he’ll be able to

Professors VisiI. Return. Named. .
0n Absence Leaves for Semester

Appointment of two visitingi
professors to the Grinnell Col—
lege faculty for the second se-
mester or the current academic
year has been announced.
They are:

Robert Caamano, Whitneya
Fulbright visiting protessor of
music.

Donald A, Davie, visiting pro-
fessor or English,

A professor-elect at the Unln
versity of Essex, Davie lias‘

Philip S, Thomas, (econom‘
ics), who has been on the staff
of the Institute of Develop-
ment Economics at Karachi,
Pakistan, since June, 1963i

Leaves have been approved
for four faculty members next
semester.

H. George Apostle (mathe-
matics) will Complete transla-
tion and commentaries of
“Metaphysics of Aristotle."
This is the first Oil in series of

play the nerve gas iinesse against the red army thus I been a lecturer at the Univer—iapproximately l5 translations of

enabling .....

Now when l was a kid we played cowboys and!
Indians and killed Each other. But when I was a
kid, a dead cowboy or Indian counted to ten, came
back to lite, and went on playing the game. I mean,'i
when you were shot with a bow and suctioncup arﬂ
row or an oldnfasliioned, cap-shooting six-gull that
never had any caps, it wasn’t too hard to imagine
coming back to llle, But what kid has the imagin-
ation to count to ten (or even twenty). come back
to lite and go on playing the game after being
shot with atomic bullets, bombed with hydrogen
bombs, mutilated with nuclear boobyntraps, and
evaporated with neutron rays?

>I< >1< >.<

Stale cigarette smoke and bleary eyes gave the
scene a death—like pallor . . .

“I’ve got a ﬁnal tomorrow about which i know
nothing, absolutely nothing. i thought i was hurtin'
for the last one, but this, boy ."

“Listen, I have three novels to read for tomorrow’s
final, and one of those is Ship of Fools, so you've got
nothing to worry about compared to me."

“You two should worry. I have two finals day
after tomorrow and one oi those counts 90% of my
grade—and it's in my major field. I don’t even know
what the reading assignments were for this semesteri
In fact, I'm not really sure Who my professor is.”

”I think I had one this morning, so you three
haven’t got half the troubles I do. Frankly, I think
finals should be abolished. They put entirely too
much pressure on the students. Kids go crazy they
study so hard for 'em, and besides they ruin their
health staying up late at night studying. God, what
do they think we are kids that we need to have
a rinal exam to get us to work? Say, whose bid is
it?"

“I think it’s yours.”

“Oh, yeah. Three hearts . . a"
/

21, Over? Grinnell to Give You Free
Certificate of Age,

Identification cards for students
over twenty-one soon will be mak»
ling the Grinnell scene. Dean Waldo
IWalker announced this week.

Picture Included

those plans. Now five weeks in de-
velopment, the first batch is ex-
pected any day from the printer
tor distribution,

Chief oi Grinnell's police, Bill

from Massachusetts to Texas
A list of recruiting organiza-
tions for human rights pro-
grams appears below

Mr. William Strickland
Northern Student Movement
73 Morningside Dr.

New York, New York

Mr. Norman Hill

Congress on Racial Equality
38 Park Row

New York, New York 10038

The Rev. Andrew Young

Southern Christian Leader-
ship Movement

334 Auburn Avenue

Atlanta 3, Georgia

Summer Project committee

Council of Federated Organ-
izations

£017 Lynch Street

Jackson, Mississippi 39208

The cards will bear pictures of
their owners tor the purpose of
easy, accurate discrimination, but,
although one is being printed tor
each young adult on campus. pos-
session will be strictly voluntary.

Suggested by city otticiais, the

was to be done during Christmas
recess, but Dean Walker's automo-

Peterson, in an interview trankly
admitted the possibility that some
underage students are using false
identification to Obtain alcoholic
drinks and said that the new ID's
might add to the problem that is

cards are of no special interest to :35 01d 2‘5 beer "SE”-
the college itself, according tol,
Dean Walker. Printing originally I tablishments will demand the IDS
lfor prooi or age, however, Dean

When asked whether local es-

Walker could only answer, “1 pre-

hile accident delayed fulfillment of l sume they will."

 

Collum's

 

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gel' Alias Snow Tires

FROM

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‘III’

 

Isity or Cambridge the past sixi

years. He holds B. A., M. A.,‘i

nd Ph. D. degrees from Came:
:l'ldge and has also served as}
a Visiting professor at the Uni-i
versity of California, (Santal
Barbara) and as a lecturer at,
Trinity College or Dublin Uni-I
versity, lreland. Listed in Who's,
Who I963, Davie has written;
numerous books, both poetry
and prose.

Two additional appointments}
for the second semester are}
Martha H. Fletcher, assistant!
in French, and David L. Palm»
er, assistant in history.

Mrs. Fletcher holds a B. A.
degree from the University of
California (Berkeley) and cer-
tificates from the University of
Paris.

A 1962 graduate of Grinnell,
Palmer is completing work to-
ward his M, A, degree at the
University of Iowa, While study-
ing at the U. of L, Palmer also
served as a research assistant
and research associate. At Grin-
neil, he was elected to Phi Beta
Kappa in l962.

Four faculty members will be
returning from leaves. They
are:

Dirk Baay (German), who
served as a Fulbrightaﬂays
visiting lecturer at Cuttington
College, Suacoco, Liberia, the
past two semesters.

Joseph D. Dantorth (chemis-
try), who has been working in
Paris the last semester With
the UNESCO Science Teaching-
Section.

Ned Donahoe (speech and‘i
theatre), who has been at Le
Moyne College one semester
teaching and helping develop
the college’s drama depart-

 

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Aristotle's
Apostle.

Andrew F. Brown (German),
Will go to Germany to work on
a book about U. E. tossing. an
18th century German critic,
theologian, and dramatist,

Howard R. Rarig (music).
will study contemporary ltalian
music in italy with several
noted composers and musicians.
One or them is Luciano Berio,
who recently composed a work
for Grililiell College and attend
ed its world premiere by the
Lenox Quartet here last De~
cember.

Richard B. Young (men's
physical education) will con-
tinue graduate study at Cali-
fornia State College at Los An-
geles.

Year-long leaves will con.
tinue for five faculty members,

John C. Dawson (economics)
is conducting research at the
London School of Economics
under a Brookings Institution
professorship.

Receiving special training in
psychotherapy at the Merrilh
Palmer Institute in Michigan is
Vladimir A. Dupre (psyclml‘
033')

Seymour Katz (English) is re-
searching the fiction of Nathan-
iel Hawthorne at Harvard Uni-
versity.

Paul A. L, Smith (political
science) is serving as a faculty
fellow with the Democratic Na-
tional Committee in Washing-
ton, D. C.

At the University of Gotham
burg, Sweden, Joseph F. Walt
(history) is assisting the uni-
Versity in establishing an
American studies major and is
also teaching American history.

work planned by

When Deeply Involved In
That Interim Study Proiecl

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